Top 10 Stupid Facebook Misusages

1- Profile picture: an image portraying the significant features of the owner of the profile.
a. Last night I was freaked out when I saw that one of the Transformers wants to become friends with me, to discover later that it was one of my ignorant friends who have used an image of a car for his profile picture!
b. The night before that I thought another friend was having the Benjamin Button disease; he suddenly went back to being a baby, only to discover later that his sister got a new baby!! (Profile pictures should only be changed in case of major changes in one’s face due to age or an accident, while searching for your profile this is the best way to figure you out especially if they forgot your name. That is if you have already specified that in the first place!
c. Right after marriage you will notice you have two identical profile pictures. Come on guys there are two other places to show off your top achievement; Relationship Status & Albums

2- Profile name: No comment! Even 3 year olds know that. What amazes me most is how fast girls change their family names sometimes even before their wedding! And the worst is when she puts her husband’s name or vice versa as her middle name then even FBI and CIA would never guess who the fuck they are… Guys & Girls your profile name is your Identity and personality; better not lose it for such a cheap reason.

3- New born pictures: All new born look alike and all look ugly, the only message we are getting from posting such disgusting pictures is that you are trying to prove that it is 90% legit since it has anything that looks like the real father and that your gentiles are working!

4- General pictures (Cities, Sunsets, Clouds, Animals, Nature…): Unless it has something very exceptional no other human being can ever shoot it ever again, will no more exist or you are in it, thank you very much we already have “National Geographic” for that! I can accept the fact that when someone is traveling he thinks everything is interesting since it’s all new to him and he starts taking pictures especially that now it’s all digital and free, but what I don’t accept or understand is why would he post them on Facebook!? Another case is wedding pictures, guys at least tag those stupid photos, otherwise they are just an animation of the bride and the groom shifting places…

5- 90 degree flipped pictures: Guys before posting a picture you have something called editing and rotate and they are free by the way.

6- Duplicates: More than one picture for the same subject doing the same thing… Facebook has invented something new for that reason called “Delete”!! We don’t have all day to watch your husband fall of the chair, we know it’s funny and hilarious but that was for you! While watching all we need to see is his ass on the floor and that’s called the final shot and maybe while he was trying to sit and that’s called the establishing shot, all the other 8 shots in between are video. Try to use it next time woman!

7- Comments: are always related to the object right above them and never for chat. If you don’t have anything to say about it nobody needs to know what you’re cooking today or tomorrow!

8- The Wall: it’s a public space. Anything you write there everybody can see, and no you weren’t stunning in that dress, you need much more than a $5000 dress to do this almost impossible job!!

9- Status: A place to say something about “your” current status as the name implies, and “your” here means the owner of the account whose name and picture are shown right above. One of my friends has a status that is so active if you see keep on checking it you will think that he is traveling from one country to the other using light speed and meeting people nonstop and taking decisions that will change history, to find out that he was just in the bathroom and finished reading his newspaper and is checking to see if he has memorized it well… There is a special section on Facebook for that specific reason and it’s called Notes check it.

10- Cover Page: It’s a special space given to you by Facebook for free to market yourself and not a place to show your expertise in Googling images, saving and re-posting them and yet marketing somebody else on your account. This proves that Arabs, and I’m talking about the majority, were never made to USE, but always to re-USE, ab-USE and mis-USE…

I’m hundred percent sure that at this exact moment there’s someone thinking of cutting and pasting this article on his status and waiting for someone to start a chat on its behalf using the comments!!

n.b. Facebook is not a Church nor a Mosque so please keep your religious “Beliefs” to yourself!!

When life gives you LEMON ...

When life gives you LEMON,

Go to Lebanon change its color to Orange, get some stupid follower, start a movement call it “tayyar” so to make people fear you, “watani” since it is 100% Lebanese and for Lebanon benefits “Horr” because you are not controlled by anyone such as Syria or Hezbollah, until you become president and change it to a party (allah la y2addir). You will later find out that there are still smart people among your religion and others that don’t trust you. You open a TV for your first daughter & name it Orange TV and start brainwashing your follower and try brain washing others. You will soon find out that you need money for the elections, after you have spent all what poor Gilbert & Abbees had gave you to make them MPs, so you give the ministry of Energy to your son in law (“Taka”, although ma 3indo wala taka) and the ministry of Communications to another “miss communicated person” promising him a Parliament membership in the next elections, in order for both to start stealing money from the government and calling it “isla7”, and to back them up with their delusions you will open an advertising agency for your second daughter & name it Clementine so they can market their lies and of course steal even more money and make people believe exactly the opposite of what they should (LebanON/OFF) here comes “taghyeer”. You will fail in all of this so you decide to fuckup the economy maybe people will forget their headache when their legs are broken, so you ask your minister of tourism “the brain” to ruin the season with his smart decisions (such as No Smoking Law & UAE Conspiracies) and fuckup tourism, the backbone of Lebanon GDP!! Now your followers are fed up of your “Shiit” and your allies are fed up of your “Shit” and started feeling that you are becoming a burden and you are pulling them down with you they are trying to get rid of you by using your ignorance and stupidity and that looks promising.

Mr. “General” your Orange is turning “Yellow” shaklak staweit wsar baddak 2atif ya m3attar!!

And you still think that there is someone stupid enough to try to assassinate make a hero out of you ya baba!!

مشال عون، جبران بسيل، فادي عبود ... كلوا خرا

أفضلتَ علينا يا معالي وزيرالسياحة فادي عبود. شكراً لك على تصريحاتك المدروسة بعمق. إنها فعلا مؤامرة على سياحتك الموصوفة والفريدة من نوعها عالمياً. فما أن سمعنا، نحن اللبنانيين المقيمين في الإمارات العربية تصريحك بأن "الإمارات تآمرت على السياحة اللبنانية بنية كسب السياح"، حتى بدأنا بتوضيب ثيابنا الشتوية والصيفية، وتركنا منازلنا في الإمارات وقررنا اللحاق بك حتى بتنا "نتفركش" ببعضنا بعضاً

لكن بعض الخارجين على القانون على طرق المطارات في دبي، (فكما تعلم في دبي 3 مطارات والرابع بات جاهزا) عرقلوا سيرنا بعد أن أضرموا النار بدواليب السيارات. كما أن مجموعة مشاغبين أجبرتنا على حمل حقائبنا مسافة طويلة، وتعرضنا للخطف من قبل أفراد عشيرة خارجين على القانون ينعتون هنا "بالمقاديدة" ففاتتنا الرحلة المتوجهة إلى بيروت. وللأسف ما زلنا هنا نعمل ونكسب رزقنا بعرق جبيننا ونحقق نجاحاتنا من دون واسطة ولا طائفة

معالي الوزير،
أنا في العادة أنتقد الفنانين على بياض هذه الصفحة، وعادة ما أترك أفكاري بخصوص الوطن تنخر عظامي وحدي وأنا أرقب فشلكم العظيم في بناء جسور المودة والمحبة وإعادة اللحمة إلى ذاك الوطن الذي أحببناه جميعا، وحملناه معنا أينما ذهبنا. لا بل تحولنا إلى سفراء له ننشر حكاياه الجميلة ونغرق في الحديث عن طبيعته وصفاء سمائه

فاسمح لي معاليك بأن أخبرك أشياء قد تكون عرفتها، لكن لعل في الإعادة إفادة. لقد تخطانا العالم يا معالي الوزير، وسئم من أخبارنا ومن ثرثرتنا حتى بتنا "مسخرة" أمام خلق الله بسببكم يا حكام الوطن الصغير. هل تعلم كم كان عدد السياح في دبي ليلة رأس السنة؟ لقد تخطى المليون سائح ولم تحصل ضربة كف ولم يضرم أحد النار بدولاب، ولم يقفل أحد طريق المطار، وكانت كل الطرقات سالكة، والكهرباء مشعشعة كالعادة

كان الطقس بديعاً والناس من جميع أصقاع الأرض يستمتعون بعزف الأوركسترا السمفونية قرب برج خليفة، ويراقبون رقص النافورة الأجمل في العالم. وما إن اكتمل الزمن وأعلن العام نهايته، انطلقت ضحكات الأطفال ولمعت عدسات الكاميرات من كل صوب لتسجل تلك اللحظات السعيدة في سماء زيّنتها الألعاب النارية لا الرصاص الخطاط الذي ينطلق بعد كل خطاب لأي من زعماء الحروب الصغيرة

عن أية سياحة تتحدث معاليك؟ عن أمن مطار بيروت؟ أو عن التشبيح داخل حرمه؟ عن سيارات التاكسي التي تنتظر السائحين ليقوم سائقوها بتشليحهم وشتمهم في حال رفضوا الامتثال لرغباتهم؟ عن طريق المطار الآمنة؟ عن أسعار المطاعم المتحركة حسب لون بشرة الزبون أو زيه الوطني؟ عن أي شيء تتحدّث؟ عن نشرات الأخبار التي يتحفنا بها الإعلام اللبناني كل مساء محمَّلة بملوثات الوطن؟ أو عن المشعوذين الذين باتوا يتوقعون للدول مستقبلها وكأن من يعيش في ذلك البلد صدّق الكذبة واعتبر نفسه محور الكرة الأرضية

ألا ترى معي أننا بحاجة لعدم تدخلكم في حياتنا نحن المهاجرين بل المهجّرين قسرا بسببكم؟ دعونا نعمل بعيداً عن خلافاتكم وسنمحي شهر آذار من روزنامة حياتنا. ذلك الشهر الذي سرقتم أعداده وبات كالشيطان لأي لبناني حريص على مستقبله. لقد عرّيتم أنفسكم وعريّكم بات عارا علينا. نحاول أن نخبّئ هذا العار كل يوم لكن الرائحة الكريهة تنبعث منه وتقتلنا. من أنتم؟ ماذا تريدون؟ أنتم منقسمون دائما ومفلسون وغير قادرين على تحسين شروط العيش لمواطنيكم. أين الكهرباء؟ هل وصلت بواخركم الموعودة؟ هل وجدتم حلاً للتخفيف من زحمة المرور؟ هل أعدتم مخطوفي (ضيوف) أعزاز؟ ماذا فعلتم؟

آخر ما نتج عن أفكاركم السوداء هو أن النازحين السوريين هم سبب كل مشاكل لبنان، وتعملون الآن وبكل موضوعية على إعادتهم إلى سوريا لتتم تصفيتهم وتريحوا العالم منهم فيحصل اللبنانيون على الزيادة المضافة إلى رواتبهم وتفتح الطرقات وترفع الجسور وتعلن حالة من الفرح مع خروج آخر نازح ويتم تسليمه لضباط المخابرات السورية

أليس من الأفضل أن تصمت وتنقل صمتك إلى الآخرين وأن تعيد النظر في قرار منع التدخين لأن الإلتزام به بات أضحوكة للمساكين؟ أليس من المفيد أن تترك الشعب اللبناني يتدبر أمره كما كان على طول الأزمان من دون حكومة ليتعثر هنا وينهض هناك.. والله، كما جرت العادة، "بيدبّرها"؟

Christians Unite

A short & touching story

     One day a twenty five years old girl was going back to her house in Dahieh, to find a suspicious young man sitting in his car in front of the entrance watching her. First she was afraid but after seeing him there day after day she became used to it, and the guy was a gentleman, he was so respectful that his head was always down; he even never looked up while she passes. Although it was irritating; but in fact, the young girl started to like the idea of someone that dedicated, sitting there day in day out just to take a glimpse at her.

After sometime the girl started falling in love especially that she was in her marriage age. So she started wondering why he never tries to come to her house and ask her father to marry her if he is that in love. She thought, maybe it is because of the financial difference since his car was so old, and her house was so luxurious, or is he still not sure of his feeling, but he stays there long hours even after she goes inside the house and sometimes she sleeps and he is still there.

Until one day and after more than two months on this, she gathered all her powers and went towards his car, her heart was beating like crazy; he wasn’t that good looking from near but never the less she bent down and asked him “why are you always in front of my house sir?” He looked at her with his eyes wide open and full of happiness, excitement and wonders and said “the Wi.Fi. connection at your place is so fuck’n fast woman!!”

TWITTER TRICK

I never believed this shit could be for real, until I tried this one.

I still can’t figure out how they did it.

AMAZING TWITTER TRICK

Step 1: Think of something you would really like to happen in your life. Write it below as a comment under anonymous, if you're not on the blog Go to http://capisho.blogspot.com/2012/12/twitter-trick.html

Step 2: Follow this account on Twitter http://twitter.com/Capisho after exactly 24hrs you will receive the exact time & date.

*If you have a Gmail account, click on "Join this site" in blue box below to the left; so you can stay informed in case this date changes or seize to exist for any specific reason. 

*You will never receive anything if what you asked for happened during this 24hrs frame.

Tayyar Aouni Smoking problem

GOD, YOU ARE HERE!

RELIGIONS (Shit) OF THE WORLD

Muslims vs Jews

UNBELIEVABLE AND WRITTEN BY A MUSLIM It sure makes interesting reading... particularly coming from a Pakistani official.  By: Dr Farrukh Saleem The writer is the Pakistani Executive Director of the Center for Research and Security Studies, a think tank established in 2007, and an Islamabad-based freelance columnist. Why are Jews so powerful? There are only 14 million Jews in the world; seven million in the Americas, five million in Asia, two million in Europe & 100,000 in Africa. For every single Jew in the world there are 100 Muslims. Yet, Jews are more than a hundred times more powerful than all the Muslims put together. Ever wondered why? Jesus of Nazareth was Jewish. Albert Einstein, the most influential scientist of all time & TIME magazine's 'Person of the Century', was a Jew. Sigmund Freud, the father of psychoanalysis was a Jew. So were Karl Marx, Paul Samuelson and Milton Friedman. Here are a few other Jews whose intellectual output has enriched the whole humanity: Benjamin Rubin gave humanity the vaccinating needle. Jonas Salk developed the first polio vaccine. Albert Sabin developed the improved live polio vaccine. Gertrude Elion gave us a leukemia fighting drug. Baruch Blumberg developed the vaccination for Hepatitis B. Paul Ehrlich discovered a treatment for syphilis. Elie Metchnikoff won a Nobel Prize in infectious diseases. Bernard Katz won a Nobel Prize in neuromuscular transmission. Andrew Schally won a Nobel in endocrinology. Aaron Beck founded Cognitive Therapy. Gregory Pincus developed the first oral contraceptive pill. George Wald won a Nobel for our understanding of the human eye. Stanley Cohen won a Nobel in embryology. Willem Kolff came up with the kidney dialysis machine. Over the past 105 years, 14 million Jews have won 15-dozen Nobel Prizes while only three Nobel Prizes have been won by 1.4 billion Muslims (other than Peace Prizes). Why are Jews so powerful? Stanley Mezor invented the first micro-processing chip. Leo Szilard developed the first nuclear chain reactor; Peter Schultz, optical fibre cable; Charles Adler, traffic lights; Benno Strauss, Stainless steel; Isador Kisee, sound movies; Emile Berliner, telephone microphone; Charles Ginsburg, videotape recorder. Famous financiers in the business world who belong to Jewish faith include Ralph Lauren (Polo), Levis Strauss (Levi's Jeans), Howard Schultz (Starbuck's), Sergey Brin (Google), Michael Dell (Dell Computers), Larry Ellison (Oracle), Donna Karan (DKNY), Irv Robbins (Baskins & Robbins) and Bill Rosenberg (Dunkin Donuts). Richard Levin, President of Yale University, is a Jew. So are Henry Kissinger (American secretary of state), Alan Greenspan (Fed chairman under Reagan, Bush, Clinton and Bush), Joseph Lieberman (US Senator), Madeleine Albright (American secretary of state), Casper Weinberger (American secretary of defense), Maxim Litvinov ( USSR foreign Minister), David Marshal (Singapore’s first chief minister), Issac Isaacs (governor-general of Australia ), Benjamin Disraeli (British statesman and author), Yevgeny Primakov (Russian PM), Barry Goldwater (US Senator), Jorge Sampaio (president of Portugal ), John Deutsch (CIA director), Herb Gray (Canadian deputy PM), Pierre Mendes (French PM), Michael Howard (British home secretary), Bruno Kreisky (chancellor of Austria ) and Robert Rubin (American secretary of treasury). In the media, famous Jews include Wolf Blitzer (CNN), Barbara Walters (ABC News), Eugene Meyer (Washington Post), Henry Grunwald (editor-in-chief Time), Katherine Graham (publisher of The Washington Post), Joseph Lelyveld (Executive editor, The New York Times), and Max Frankel (New York Times). The most beneficent philanthropist in the history of the world is George Soros, a Jew, who has so far donated a colossal $4 billion most of which has gone as aid to scientists and universities around the world. Second to George Soros is Walter Annenberg, another Jew, who has built a hundred libraries by donating an estimated $2 billion. At the Olympics, Mark Spitz set a record of sorts by winning 7 gold medals; Lenny Krayzelburg is a three-time Olympic gold medalist. Spitz, Krayzelburg & Boris Becker (Tennis) are all Jewish. Did you know that Harrison Ford, George Burns, Tony Curtis, Charles Bronson, Sandra Bullock, Billy Crystal, Woody Allen, Paul Newman, Peter Sellers, Dustin Hoffman, Michael Douglas, Ben Kingsley, Kirk Douglas, Goldie Hawn, Cary Grant, William Shatner, Jerry Lewis and  Peter Falk are all Jewish? As a matter of fact, Hollywood itself was founded by a Jew. Among directors and producers, Steven Spielberg, Mel Brooks, Oliver Stone, Aaron Spelling ( Beverly Hills 90210), Neil Simon (The Odd Couple), Andrew Vaina (Rambo 1/2/3), Michael Man (Starsky andHutch), Milos Forman (One flew over the Cuckoo's Nest), Douglas Fairbanks (The Thief of Baghdad ) and Ivan Reitman (Ghostbusters) are all Jewish. So, why are Jews so powerful? Answer : EDUCATION Why are Muslims so powerless?  There are an estimated 1,476,233,470 Muslims on the face of the planet: one billion in Asia, 400 million in Africa, 44 million in Europe and six million in the Americas. Every fifth human being is a Muslim; for every single Hindu there are two Muslims, for every Buddhist there are two Muslims & for every Jew there are one hundred Muslims. Ever wondered why Muslims are so powerless? Here is why: There are 57 member-countries of the Organization of Islamic Conference (OIC), and all of them put together have around 500 universities; i.e. one university for every three million Muslims. The United States has 5,758 universities & India has 8,407. In 2004, Shanghai Jiao Tong University compiled an 'Academic Ranking of World Universities', and intriguingly, not one university from Muslim-majority states was in the top-500. As per data collected by the UNDP, literacy in the Christian world stands at nearly 90 per cent and 15 Christian-majority states have a literacy rate of 100 per cent. A Muslim-majority state, as a sharp contrast, has an average literacy rate of around 40 per cent and there is no Muslim-majority state with a literacy rate of 100 per cent. Some 98 per cent of the 'literates' in the Christian world had completed primary school, while less than 50 per cent of the 'literates' in the Muslim world did the same. Around 40 per cent of the 'literates' in the Christian world attended university while no more than two per cent of the 'literates' in the Muslim world did the same Muslim-majority countries have 230 scientists per one million Muslims. The US has 4,000 scientists per million & Japan has 5,000 per million. In the entire Arab world, the total number of full-time researchers is 35,000 & there are only 50 technicians per one million Arabs. (In the Christian world there are up to 1,000 technicians per one million). Furthermore, The Muslim world spends 0.2 per cent of its GDP on research and development, While the Christian world spends around five per cent of its GDP. Conclusion: The Muslim world lacks the capacity to produce knowledge! Daily newspapers per 1,000 people and number of book titles per million are two indicators of whether knowledge is being diffused in a society. In Pakistan, there are 23 daily newspapers per 1,000 Pakistanis while the same ratio in Singapore is 360. In the UK, the number of book titles per million stands at 2,000 while the same in Egypt is 20. Conclusion: The Muslim world is failing to diffuse knowledge.    Exports of high technology products as a percentage of total exports are an important indicator of knowledge application. Pakistan’s export of high technology products as a percentage of total exports stands at one per cent. The same for Saudi Arabia is 0.3 per cent; Kuwait, Morocco, and Algeria are all at 0.3 per cent, while Singapore is at 58 per cent. Conclusion: The Muslim world is failing to apply knowledge.     Why are Muslims powerless? .....Because we aren't producing knowledge, .....Because we aren't diffusing knowledge., .....Because we aren't applying knowledge. And, the future belongs to knowledge-based societies. Interestingly, the combined annual GDP of 57 OIC-countries is under $2 trillion. America, just by herself, produces goods and services worth $12 trillion; China $8 trillion, Japan $3.8 trillion and Germany $2.4 trillion (purchasing power parity basis). Oil rich Saudi Arabia, UAE, Kuwait and Qatar collectively produce goods and services (mostly oil) worth $500 billion; Spain alone produces goods and services worth over $1 trillion, Catholic Poland $489 billion and Buddhist Thailand $545 billion. (Muslim GDP as a percentage of worlds GDP is fast declining). So, why are Muslims so powerless? Answer: Lack of education & very narrow mindedness.   All we do is shouting to Allah the whole day!!! And blame everyone else for our multiple failures!!!!!