Tuesday, March 08, 2016

JOB INTERVIEW



 In a job interview:

She: Shu el weakness taba3ak?
He: Inno ana kteer sari7!
She: Ma b7ess haydeh weakness…
He: Metel ayri shu bit7esseh!!

Sunday, April 19, 2015

Message from a Southern to Hassan Nasrallah



يا سيّد، أنا ابن ضاحية بيروت الجنوبية، أبي نزح من الجنوب وسكن في الضاحية قبل 40 عاماً، وهناك ولدت وأُخوتي حملوا السلاح في حزبك أحدهم استشهد في العام 2000 قبل تحرير الجنوب بأشهر، كنا فخورين به وبك، وآمنا بخياراتك وخياراته، لي أخت لم يسعفها الوقت للملمة أغراضها، فـقتلت تحت المبنى الذي كانت تسكنه في الشياح في تموز 2006، وقلنا يومها، إن كل شيء يهون في الحرب مع إسرائيل، في العام 2008، قتل أخي الثاني في تلة التلات تمانات في الجبل، لم نجد صهاينة من حولِه لنباركَ موته، في 7 أيار قرر أن يختفي من البيت ليحرر لبنان من اللبنانيين، في 11 أيار عاد  ملفوفا بعلم حزبك، قلنا لعله يحق للسيد ما لا يحق لغيره، قلنا ندفع فاتورة لم نفهمها، وقلنا إنك لا بدّ أن تكون على حق، وإن لم نفهم لماذا يموت أخي وهو يحاول قتل جيراننا في منزلنا الصيفي بالجبل؛ حيث نتنزه منذ 30 عاما، منذ صار الجنوب ساحة حرب، في العام 2013 أصيب ابن عمي في سوريا، كان يؤدي واجبا جهاديا لم أفهمه، ثم عرفنا أنه يحمي مقام السيدة زينب بالشام، لكنّه مات في حمص، قرب مسجد خالد بن الوليد، لم نجد مقاما يطوبه شهيدا، وقلنا مجددا، ربما تعرف أكثر مما نعرف، ثم أصيب ابن خالتي في تفجير حارة حريك، كان يشتري الدجاج لأولاده حين انفجرت السيارة بالجميع في الشارع، عرفنا لاحقاً أنّ من فجر نفسه خسر بعض أهله بقصف عناصر من حزبك لمنازل سوريين آمنين. امس، استغربت عدم نزول أخي إلى الشارع ليتضامن مع الحوثيين في اليمن، وكان يقرأ مقالات في إعلامك يا سيد؛ تشتم المملكة العربية السعودية؛ فقال لي إن شقيقنا يعمل في الامارات، وجارنا يعمل في السعودية، وبعضا من ابناء قريتنا يملكون مقهى في الكويت، وغيرهم في قطر والبحرين، وكلهم خائفون من تداعيات ما يجري على ارزاقهم، ولا احد منا له مصلحة او رزق في اليمن.
يا سيّد، هل تريد، بعدما خضنا حربا لم نفهم سببها في تموز 2006، وبلسم بعدها جراحنا أهل الخليج، وبعدما قتلنا أهلنا في بيروت والجبل في 7 أيار 2008، وبعدما قتلنا ومتنا ونحن نحارب أهلنا بسوريا في 2013 و2014، أن نذهب إلى اليمن في 2015 لنناصر من يعتدون على اهلِهم، كما حاول أخي أن يفعل في الجبل ذات أيار لبناني؟
تريدنا أن نشتم السعودية والخليج، حيث يعمل أشقاؤنا وأقاربنا؟ تريدنا أن نموت في سوريا والعراق بالاعتداء على الآخرين، وفي الضاحية بالمتفجرات والجوع، و في اليمن بنصرة الظالم؟ لماذا نهاجم يا سماحة السيد من أنقذنا، ولماذا نحاول قطع يد العرب التي امتدت إلينا دوما؟ لماذا يا سيد ننحاز إلى إيران على حساب العروبة؟ ألسنا عربا، ولغة القرآن هي لغة الضاد؟
ولماذا يا سيّد، وسامحني حين لا أكشف سراً، تحولت مناطقنا، في الضاحية والبقاع والجنوب، إلى أوكار يختبىء فيها تجار الممنوعات والمخدرات والسلاح، ومسهلو الدعارة وشبكاتهم؟ لماذا نموت في بلاد الله الواسعة وتضيق علينا الحياة في لبنان؟ هل تريدنا أن نحارب الكوكب كله ؟ فيما إيران تفاوض على دمنا ولا يسقط لها شاب واحد؟ يا سيد، أنا ابن الجنوب، أريد أن أشتري منزلا ﻷعيش فيه، لا لترثه أرملتي وتتزوج غيري، أريد أن أربي أولادي لا أن أضمن غدهم بموتي، وأنا أيتم أولاد السوريينَ والعراقيين واليمنيين، عذراً يا سيد، لكن حروبك باتت أكبر من قدرتنا على الموت، شبابنا في البقاع والجنوب والضاحية، باتوا إمّا شهداء أو محاصرين  بارزاقهم في جهات الارض كلها، وإمّا مقاتلين، لا يعرفون دفاعاً عن أيّ قضية، واليوم تريدنا أن نحارب العرب كلهم، وأن نصير جاليات ايرانية في بلادنا”
“بعد كل هذه الحروب تعبنا ونريد ان نرتاح، يا سيّد”.

Thursday, June 19, 2014

Syria War Cup 2014


#Syria #War #Cup #WarCup #WorldCup2014 #Kill #Killer #Syrian #Children #Help #Champion #Bashar #Assad #Capisho

Monday, May 12, 2014

Sawa meen ya baba, akeed inta bigheir alam, Krikita. #Krikita #Gheiralam #BasharAssad #Bashar #Asad #Sawa #PresidentialElections #Syria #President #Devil #Butcher #Killer #Assassin #War #Capisho #Delusional #Stupid #Asshole #Sick


Sawa meen wil nas naymeen ya baba, akeed inta bigheir alam, Krikita bi gheir alam. #Krikita #Gheiralam #BasharAssad #Bashar #Asad #Sawa #PresidentialElections #Syria #President #Devil #Butcher #Killer #Assassin #War #Capisho #Delusional #Stupid #Asshole #Sick

Thursday, May 08, 2014

Kiss Ass Season Open Today! #Kataeb #AminJmayel #MichelAoun #Kissass #Season #Politics #Lebanon #President #Elections #SamiJmayel #MarcelGhanem #NadimKoteich #LBC #MTV #OTV #AlJadeed #FutureTV #Lebansesforces


KISS ASS Season Open Today!

#Kataeb #AminJmayel #MichelAoun #Kissass #Season #Politics #Lebanon #President #Elections #SamiJmayel #MarcelGhanem #NadimKoteich #LBC #MTV #OTV #AlJadeed #FutureTV #Lebansesforces

Monday, March 24, 2014

Color Vs Shape Personality Test


Let your choice of colors and shapes tell you more about your personality!

Relax, look at the pictures and see which you are most attracted to.

Personality Test Results:

1. Freedom loving
Freedom is important to you - nothing is worse than when you feel tied down. You may find you move jobs or location frequently because the idea of staying in one place too long unnerves you. The same can apply to relationships! People see you as fun loving, and you are. You attempt to enjoy life to the full, in accordance with the motto: "You only live once." You tend to attract less energetic people as friends or partners, like moths to a flame, they see you as the light. Careful they don't drain you! You are very curious and open about everything new and thrive on change. Quite simply, you are a breath of fresh air.

2. Independent and unconventional
Your lifestyle is highly individualistic. You do not follow the crowd, on the contrary, you seek to live according to your own ideas and convictions, even if this means swimming against the tide. You need a free and unattached life that allows you to determine your own course. You have an artistic bent in your work or leisure activities. Your urge for freedom sometimes causes you to do exactly the opposite of what is expected of you. You are rather unique, so don't bother comparing yourself to anyone else. Live life your way.

3. Sensitive and reflective
You are comfortable spending hours alone with your thoughts and rarely become bored. You dislike superficiality; you'd rather be alone than have to suffer through small talk. Your relationships with your friends are very strong, which gives you the inner tranquility and harmony that you require. You love deeply but if someone betrays you it is next to impossible to forgive. You are an old soul, someone who has lived many times before and has seen it all. All you crave now is simplicity and the chance to focus your attention on a meaningful existence.

4. Down to earth and charming
You have a natural authentic charm, what you see is what you get. People admire you because you seem so 'together'. You have both feet planted firmly on the ground and they can depend on you. While others complicate their life with ifs and buts, you know your own mind. You provide security and space to those close to you. You are a rock, and although others may not tell you, you are the sun around which they revolve. You dislike superficiality and tend to be skeptical toward the whims of trends. Where others crash and burn, you motor on, quietly achieving all you need to do. You are a woman (or man) of substance.

5. Professional and self-assured

You take charge of your life, and place less faith in your luck and more in your own actions. You solve problems in a practical, uncomplicated manner. You take a realistic view of things in your daily life and tackle them without fuss. You are given responsibility at work, because people know that you can be depended upon. You project self-assurance to others. You are a born leader and organizer. Although you work well in a team, ideally you should be the one giving the orders. After all, you are usually right!

6. Peaceful and timeless
You are easy-going yet discreet. There is a timeless elegance about you (think Audrey Hepburn). You make friends effortlessly, yet enjoy your privacy and independence. You like to get away from it all and be alone from time to time to contemplate the meaning of life. You need space, so you escape to hideaways, but you are not a loner. You are at peace with yourself and the world, and you appreciate life and what this world has to offer. You have a strong life purpose and when you discover it, you project your personal brand of magic on the world.

7. Cultured and classical
Cultured and sophisticated you value the things money can't necessarily buy - good conversation, original ideas, music and the arts. You have a fair mind and can see both sides of an argument. You rarely let emotions get the better of you, preferring to assess situations rationally. Calm, logical and yet compassionate and kind. You have 'old-fashioned' principles, which at heart make you a real lady (or gentleman). A timeless, vintage classic - the sort of person everyone secretly admires and likes to copy.

8. Sensitive and spiritual
You are a highly sensitive and spiritual person. You refuse to see life only from a rational view point. You have great intuition and trust your feelings. You must have dreams to aspire towards or you won't feel happy. You like to improve yourself, and in so doing make a difference in the world - even if only in little ways. You find it hard to understand people who are only guided rationality. You form true relationships with open souls, people who know there is more to life than we can touch, see or hear. Your psychic sense is highly evolved, trust it and work with it.

9. Dynamic and sparkly
You are a mover and a shaker! You are willing to take risks in return for interesting and varied work. Routine tends to have a paralyzing effect on you. Being stuck behind a desk 9-5 would destroy your soul and enthusiasm for life. You need to be given the chance to express your ideas and put them into action. You have a rainbow personality, and can cheer others up, even on the gloomiest of days. If you ever feel you have lost your sparkle it is because the situation you find yourself in is not right for you. Follow your enthusiasm, even if it means you chop and change for years. The journey is as important as the destination.

#Personality #Test #Play #Fun #PersonalityTest

Thursday, January 30, 2014

16 Reasons to have Daily Sex





1. De-stress
Sex helps you reduce stress. When deep breathing exercises fail to de-stress you, sex will do the needful.
During sex your body produces dopamine, a substance that fights stress hormones, endorphins, aka “happiness hormones” and oxytocin, a desire-enhancing hormone secreted by the pituitary gland. In a study, published in the Public Library of Science journal, three neuroscience researchers conducted a test on male rats and found that the sexually active rats were less anxious than rats with no sexual activity.


2. Great Form of Exercise
Making love is a form of physical activity. During intercourse, the physiological changes in your body are consistent with a workout. You must have noticed that the respiratory rate rises, which means you get tired. Hence, you burn calories. If you have sex three times a week for 15 minutes (but we know you can do better than that) you’ll burn about 7.500 calories in a year. That’s the equivalent of jogging 75 miles! Heavy breathing raises the amount of oxygen in your cells, and the testosterone produced during sex keeps your bones and muscles strong.

3. Lowers high blood pressure
Hugs and sex can improve your blood pressure. Sex reduces diastolic blood pressure, that is, the bottom number while reading blood pressure.
Researchers with the University of Paisley conducted an experiment on the same. They concluded that sex improves blood pressure.

4. Builds your immunity
Trying to fight the sniffles? Sex is the answer to fight cold and other health problems; sex can boost your immunity.
Immunoglobulin A, an antigen that fights the flu increases when the frequency of sex increases.

5. Makes You Look Younger
Making love three times a week can make you look 10 years younger, claims a Scottish researcher. “It’s good for you to have good sex,” says David Weeks, a clinical neuropsychologist at the Royal Edinburgh Hospital, whose study on the effects of sex on aging appears in his book, Secrets of the Super young.

6. Healthy heart
Sex helps you burn calories but it can also improve your heart. Sex will take care of stroke and heart attacks; you just have to enjoy the moment.
Scientists with New England Research Institute examined the effect of sex on the heart. The study concluded that men are 45 percent less likely to experience cardiovascular diseases. But the study fails to study the effect of sex on a woman’s heart.

7. Pain relief
Pleasure is the measure to beat out the pain. Do you experience migraines and body pain? Well sex is the answer. But if you experience back pain, it is best to consult a doctor.
Dr. George E. Erlich, an arthritis specialist from Philadelphia conducted a study on the link between arthritis and sex. He narrows down that patients who engaged in sex experienced less pain.

8. Builds trust and intimacy
The act of sex spikes the hormone oxytocin; this hormone is responsible for your happiness and love. If your feel your relationship is falling out, there is trust or you’re worried that your partner will stay away, then sex will dispel these doubts. The hormone oxytocin builds trust and brings couples closer and cupid too.

9. Less chances of cancer
Regular ejaculation reduces your chances of developing prostate cancer. In an Australian study men who ejaculated 21 times a month were least likely to develop cancer. It is further supported by other researches that sexual intercourse reduces the risk of prostrate cancer.

10. Stronger pelvic muscles
Sex involves the use of several muscles; hence regular sexual intercourse can help you develop stronger pelvic muscles. Further, since the act of sex involves a range of muscles, it also helps strengthen these muscles – for ex: quads, your core, and the upper back. Through regular sex, you can also maintain a strong bladder and bowel function.
Strong muscles, calorie burner, improves heart health – sex seems to take care of you.

11. Prostate Protection
Most of the fluid you ejaculate is secreted by the prostate gland. If you stop ejaculating, the fluid stays in the gland, which tends to swell, causing lots of problems. Regular ejaculation will wash those fluids out and ensure the well being of your prostate until old age. Problems may also occur when you suddenly change the frequency of ejaculations.

12. Induces sleep
After that great, lovely workout you are bound to get good sleep. But guess what? Sex works the same way as exercise. The increased heart rate leads to increased post-coital relaxation. Sex could be the next thing for insomniacs! So what really happens:
- Sex can relax you, hence if you are already tired, the act of sex will induce sleep.
- When men ejaculate they become lethargic, this can make them sleepy.

13. Regular periods
Apparently sex can improve your menstrual cycle. Sex regulates hormones, which in turn regulate the menstrual cycle. Sex reduces stress, which is one of the reasons women miss their periods. Sex seems like a better option than pills.

14. Prevents Erectile Dysfunctions
Fifty per cent of men older than 40 suffer from erectile dysfunctions and all young men fear the moment when they won’t be able to get it up any more. The best medicine against impotence is…sex. An erection keeps the blood flowing through your penile arteries, so the tissue stays healthy. Plus, doctors compare an erection to an athletic reflex: the more you train the more capable you are to perform.

15. Live longer
A healthy heart, stronger muscles, increased circulation of oxygen and happiness are some of the factors that add life to the years and as a result – years to your life.
A study published in the British Medical Journal reveals that men who engaged in sex often live twice as those who rarely had any action.

16. Healthier semen
If you’re trying to conceive, you increase the volume of semen if you have sex regularly. Regular sex replaces old sperms from the testicles. If there is a natural build of sperms it can lead to DNA damage.

Sunday, October 27, 2013

Things Women Don’t Want Men to Know



#1 Girls Love Sex Just as much as Men
Despite what they say, all women love sex just as much as men do. We have seen our whole lives in movies and TV Shows that it’s always the man that tries to influence the girl to have sex, when in reality girls are thinking about sex just as much as men are, but just don’t talk about it. The reason is that women known to think of sex all the time are seen as promiscuous, which is an evil thing in their eyes. But to guys it’s what we can’t stop talking or thinking about!
#2 Girls Fart Too
When no one is around, girls will let one rip. They will be long, loud, and super stinky, just like men’s farts! Some women say they do not fart and that they just don’t ever need to, which is a load of crap! Every animal in this world needs to excrete gas! And it will eventually come out one way or another.
#3 Women love to pee outside
The good majority of women would prefer to pee outside, or in the shower or even the bath tub in some occasions. Yes that’s right, the bath tub. Remember they shave their legs while they are in the bath, so they can also bathe in their own hair. But women would just prefer to pee like men in reality.
#4 95% of All Women Masturbate
As soon as all people leave the house, including the boyfriend or husband, kids go to school, partner goes to work, and knowing no one is going to walk in on them girls will masturbate. And it’s not because they are not satisfied with their partners, usually it’s because they want to experiment without being embarrassed of not doing something properly, or just simply want to learn something new on their own. Sometimes girls do it while someone is still home, but it’s usually done in the shower or the bath.
#5 They Sniff Your Things
When girls are in love, they will sniff your shirts, pillows, jocks, even socks! If you get out of your room to go to the toilet, be sure she’s not only smelling your stuff, but checking your drawers, checking your phone, freshening herself up (perfume, baby wipes, make up, lip gloss!) And if men were to come in and see their girl doing this, girls would be SUPER embarrassed!
#6 They Will Dress For Your Friends
As much as you will hate to hear it, your girl will actually dress up for your friends rather than you. They secretly wish for your guy friends to want to sleep with them, and most times when you go out they will 90% dress up for your friends rather than you, as she’s already won you so doesn’t need to impress anymore. They don’t really want to sleep with your friends, but they just want them to want to sleep her. Girls love to be wanted when they can’t be taken!
#7 Girls Love it when you Get Jealous
Girls love it when you get jealous. So whenever you are walking around at a party or a club and she sees one of her guy friends, she’s going to make sure she gives him a big hug and a kiss, and have a nice “Hey How you Going babe?” reaction, while the guy friend gets all flirty not knowing that you are her boyfriend and watch you stand there with a dull face. They are just waiting for the “Who was that guy?” question, which makes them feel all warm and fuzzy that you care and you are protective.
#8 Girls will always check in on Their Exes
Girls will regularly see what their ex boyfriend is up to on Facebook, emails or texts whenever they get the chance. It doesn’t matter how long it has been, so long as they have access to a computer, their ex will never completely be out of their mind or lives, especially if he took her virginity. It’s not like they still love or like them, they are just curious to see what they are doing and who they have ended up with. Not to mention they will constantly stalk your own Facebook even more!
#9 Girls Do Bad Things when you’re Not Looking
Be very careful the old ‘girls night out’ or ‘just a few drinks’ with the girls” tactic. This essentially is a free ticket to be “single” again under the radar! They do bad things that you wouldn’t approve of like tell all their friends about your embarrassing secrets that she promised never to tell anyone! She will probably light up a cigarette, or even take some other things she shouldn’t. She will DEFINITELY get out of control drunk like you have never seen before, and most likely when she tells you that she told that guy to “piss off” after he was grinding on her butt on the dance floor, she actually allowed it!
#10 She Might Be Using You
If you are a total idiot or a douchebag, but you are good looking and are very good in bed, she will continue to date you for a while but there will come a point where she will break up with you, because no matter how good you are in bed, she does not want to marry an idiot douchebag. Having brains and being a nice gentleman will always destroy looks and a talent in bed. After all, teaching a man a few tricks in bed he can learn over time anyway.
#11 What Girls Do on a First Date?
Most girls want to sleep with the guy on the first date. Only because they want to see firstly how good it’s going to be, and whether there is a bond or form of chemistry that she thinks she could do with forever, or sometimes they are just plain horny and haven’t been laid in a while! But at the same time if they like what they see, they will have to be judged and will fear that you won’t respect her if she sleeps with you. So it’s a win lose situation. Alcohol usually influences the decision in the end!
#12 No to Kids!
The very first time a guy says to a girl that he doesn’t want kids, 99% of the time it’s an immediate no and she will say NO DEAL to you and move along. Just about all women who are capable of having kids will WANT kids, and if you say no, then no matter how good looking or rich you are she will have to move along!
#13 Women are Bi
There’s a reason why girls make out with other girls when they get drunk, because they want to! If they are attracted to their friends then they may find it fun to make out with them, but would need a few drinks for the ‘excuse’ of ‘we were drunk’ or ‘we did it for the guys’. It’s a known fact that most girls find other girls sexy, but the thing is girls don’t like to be known for being into other girls, so it takes a bit of alcohol to get it out of them!

Thursday, October 10, 2013

THOMAS COOK VACATIONS COMPLAINTS





THESE ARE ACTUAL COMPLAINTS RECEIVED BY
"THOMAS COOK VACATIONS" FROM DISSATISFIED CUSTOMERS:

1. "I think it should be explained in the brochure that the local convenience store does not sell proper biscuits like custard creams or ginger nuts.

2. "It's lazy of the local shopkeepers in Puerto Vallarta to close in the afternoons. I often needed to buy things during 'siesta' time - this should be banned.

3. "On my holiday to Goa in India, I was disgusted to find that almost every restaurant served curry. I don't like spicy food.

4. "We booked an excursion to a water park but no-one told us we had to bring our own swimsuits and towels. We assumed it would be included in the price"

5. "The beach was too sandy. We had to clean everything when we returned to our room.

6. "We found the sand was not like the sand in the brochure. Your brochure shows the sand as white but it was more yellow.

7. "They should not allow topless sunbathing on the beach. It was very distracting for my husband who just wanted to relax.

8. "No-one told us there would be fish in the water. The children were scared.

9. "Although the brochure said that there was a fully equipped kitchen, there was no egg-slicer in the drawers.

10. "We went on holiday to Spain and had a problem with the taxi drivers as they were all Spanish.

11. "The roads were uneven and bumpy, so we could not read the local guide book during the bus ride to the resort. Because of this, we were unaware of many things that would have made our holiday more fun.

12. "It took us nine hours to fly home from Jamaica to England. It took the Americans only three hours to get home. This seems unfair.

13. "I compared the size of our one-bedroom suite to our friends' three-bedroom and ours was significantly smaller.

14. "The brochure stated: 'No hairdressers at the resort'. We're trainee hairdressers and we think they knew and made us wait longer for service.

15. "There were too many Spanish people there. The receptionist spoke Spanish, the food was Spanish. No one told us that there would be so many foreigners.

16. "We had to line up outside to catch the boat and there was no air-conditioning.

17. "It is your duty as a tour operator to advise us of noisy or unruly guests before we travel.

18. "I was bitten by a mosquito. The brochure did not mention mosquitoes."

19. "My fiancé and I requested twin-beds when we booked, but instead we were placed in a room with a king bed. We now hold you responsible and want to be re-reimbursed for the fact that I became pregnant. This would not have happened if you had put us in the room that we booked.