Thursday, February 21, 2013

Top 10 Stupid Facebook Misusages

1- Profile picture: an image portraying the significant features of the owner of the profile.
a. Last night I was freaked out when I saw that one of the Transformers wants to become friends with me, to discover later that it was one of my ignorant friends who have used an image of a car for his profile picture!
b. The night before that I thought another friend was having the Benjamin Button disease; he suddenly went back to being a baby, only to discover later that his sister got a new baby!! (Profile pictures should only be changed in case of major changes in one’s face due to age or an accident, while searching for your profile this is the best way to figure you out especially if they forgot your name. That is if you have already specified that in the first place!
c. Right after marriage you will notice you have two identical profile pictures. Come on guys there are two other places to show off your top achievement; Relationship Status & Albums

2- Profile name: No comment! Even 3 year olds know that. What amazes me most is how fast girls change their family names sometimes even before their wedding! And the worst is when she puts her husband’s name or vice versa as her middle name then even FBI and CIA would never guess who the fuck they are… Guys & Girls your profile name is your Identity and personality; better not lose it for such a cheap reason.

3- New born pictures: All new born look alike and all look ugly, the only message we are getting from posting such disgusting pictures is that you are trying to prove that it is 90% legit since it has anything that looks like the real father and that your gentiles are working!

4- General pictures (Cities, Sunsets, Clouds, Animals, Nature…): Unless it has something very exceptional no other human being can ever shoot it ever again, will no more exist or you are in it, thank you very much we already have “National Geographic” for that! I can accept the fact that when someone is traveling he thinks everything is interesting since it’s all new to him and he starts taking pictures especially that now it’s all digital and free, but what I don’t accept or understand is why would he post them on Facebook!? Another case is wedding pictures, guys at least tag those stupid photos, otherwise they are just an animation of the bride and the groom shifting places…

5- 90 degree flipped pictures: Guys before posting a picture you have something called editing and rotate and they are free by the way.

6- Duplicates: More than one picture for the same subject doing the same thing… Facebook has invented something new for that reason called “Delete”!! We don’t have all day to watch your husband fall of the chair, we know it’s funny and hilarious but that was for you! While watching all we need to see is his ass on the floor and that’s called the final shot and maybe while he was trying to sit and that’s called the establishing shot, all the other 8 shots in between are video. Try to use it next time woman!

7- Comments: are always related to the object right above them and never for chat. If you don’t have anything to say about it nobody needs to know what you’re cooking today or tomorrow!

8- The Wall: it’s a public space. Anything you write there everybody can see, and no you weren’t stunning in that dress, you need much more than a $5000 dress to do this almost impossible job!!

9- Status: A place to say something about “your” current status as the name implies, and “your” here means the owner of the account whose name and picture are shown right above. One of my friends has a status that is so active if you see keep on checking it you will think that he is traveling from one country to the other using light speed and meeting people nonstop and taking decisions that will change history, to find out that he was just in the bathroom and finished reading his newspaper and is checking to see if he has memorized it well… There is a special section on Facebook for that specific reason and it’s called Notes check it.

10- Cover Page: It’s a special space given to you by Facebook for free to market yourself and not a place to show your expertise in Googling images, saving and re-posting them and yet marketing somebody else on your account. This proves that Arabs, and I’m talking about the majority, were never made to USE, but always to re-USE, ab-USE and mis-USE…

I’m hundred percent sure that at this exact moment there’s someone thinking of cutting and pasting this article on his status and waiting for someone to start a chat on its behalf using the comments!!

n.b. Facebook is not a Church nor a Mosque so please keep your religious “Beliefs” to yourself!!

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