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Things Women Don’t Want Men to Know

#1 Girls Love Sex Just as much as Men

Despite what they say, all women love sex just as much as men do. We have seen our whole lives in movies and TV Shows that it’s always the man that tries to influence the girl to have sex, when in reality girls are thinking about sex just as much as men are, but just don’t talk about it. The reason is that women known to think of sex all the time are seen as promiscuous, which is an evil thing in their eyes. But to guys it’s what we can’t stop talking or thinking about!

#2 Girls Fart Too

When no one is around, girls will let one rip. They will be long, loud, and super stinky, just like men’s farts! Some women say they do not fart and that they just don’t ever need to, which is a load of crap! Every animal in this world needs to excrete gas! And it will eventually come out one way or another.

#3 Women love to pee outside

The good majority of women would prefer to pee outside, or in the shower or even the bath tub in some occasions. Yes that’s right, the bath tub. Remember they shave their legs while they are in the bath, so they can also bathe in their own hair. But women would just prefer to pee like men in reality.

#4 95% of All Women Masturbate

As soon as all people leave the house, including the boyfriend or husband, kids go to school, partner goes to work, and knowing no one is going to walk in on them girls will masturbate. And it’s not because they are not satisfied with their partners, usually it’s because they want to experiment without being embarrassed of not doing something properly, or just simply want to learn something new on their own. Sometimes girls do it while someone is still home, but it’s usually done in the shower or the bath.

#5 They Sniff Your Things

When girls are in love, they will sniff your shirts, pillows, jocks, even socks! If you get out of your room to go to the toilet, be sure she’s not only smelling your stuff, but checking your drawers, checking your phone, freshening herself up (perfume, baby wipes, make up, lip gloss!) And if men were to come in and see their girl doing this, girls would be SUPER embarrassed!

#6 They Will Dress For Your Friends

As much as you will hate to hear it, your girl will actually dress up for your friends rather than you. They secretly wish for your guy friends to want to sleep with them, and most times when you go out they will 90% dress up for your friends rather than you, as she’s already won you so doesn’t need to impress anymore. They don’t really want to sleep with your friends, but they just want them to want to sleep her. Girls love to be wanted when they can’t be taken!

#7 Girls Love it when you Get Jealous

Girls love it when you get jealous. So whenever you are walking around at a party or a club and she sees one of her guy friends, she’s going to make sure she gives him a big hug and a kiss, and have a nice “Hey How you Going babe?” reaction, while the guy friend gets all flirty not knowing that you are her boyfriend and watch you stand there with a dull face. They are just waiting for the “Who was that guy?” question, which makes them feel all warm and fuzzy that you care and you are protective.

#8 Girls will always check in on Their Exes

Girls will regularly see what their ex boyfriend is up to on Facebook, emails or texts whenever they get the chance. It doesn’t matter how long it has been, so long as they have access to a computer, their ex will never completely be out of their mind or lives, especially if he took her virginity. It’s not like they still love or like them, they are just curious to see what they are doing and who they have ended up with. Not to mention they will constantly stalk your own Facebook even more!

#9 Girls Do Bad Things when you’re Not Looking

Be very careful the old ‘girls night out’ or ‘just a few drinks’ with the girls” tactic. This essentially is a free ticket to be “single” again under the radar! They do bad things that you wouldn’t approve of like tell all their friends about your embarrassing secrets that she promised never to tell anyone! She will probably light up a cigarette, or even take some other things she shouldn’t. She will DEFINITELY get out of control drunk like you have never seen before, and most likely when she tells you that she told that guy to “piss off” after he was grinding on her butt on the dance floor, she actually allowed it!

#10 She Might Be Using You

If you are a total idiot or a douchebag, but you are good looking and are very good in bed, she will continue to date you for a while but there will come a point where she will break up with you, because no matter how good you are in bed, she does not want to marry an idiot douchebag. Having brains and being a nice gentleman will always destroy looks and a talent in bed. After all, teaching a man a few tricks in bed he can learn over time anyway.

#11 What Girls Do on a First Date?

Most girls want to sleep with the guy on the first date. Only because they want to see firstly how good it’s going to be, and whether there is a bond or form of chemistry that she thinks she could do with forever, or sometimes they are just plain horny and haven’t been laid in a while! But at the same time if they like what they see, they will have to be judged and will fear that you won’t respect her if she sleeps with you. So it’s a win lose situation. Alcohol usually influences the decision in the end!

#12 No to Kids!

The very first time a guy says to a girl that he doesn’t want kids, 99% of the time it’s an immediate no and she will say NO DEAL to you and move along. Just about all women who are capable of having kids will WANT kids, and if you say no, then no matter how good looking or rich you are she will have to move along!

#13 Women are Bi

There’s a reason why girls make out with other girls when they get drunk, because they want to! If they are attracted to their friends then they may find it fun to make out with them, but would need a few drinks for the ‘excuse’ of ‘we were drunk’ or ‘we did it for the guys’. It’s a known fact that most girls find other girls sexy, but the thing is girls don’t like to be known for being into other girls, so it takes a bit of alcohol to get it out of them!

Abdelaziz Chatlog

THOMAS COOK VACATIONS COMPLAINTS

THESE ARE ACTUAL COMPLAINTS RECEIVED BY

"THOMAS COOK VACATIONS" FROM DISSATISFIED CUSTOMERS:

1. "I think it should be explained in the brochure that the local convenience store does not sell proper biscuits like custard creams or ginger nuts.

2. "It's lazy of the local shopkeepers in Puerto Vallarta to close in the afternoons. I often needed to buy things during 'siesta' time - this should be banned.

3. "On my holiday to Goa in India, I was disgusted to find that almost every restaurant served curry. I don't like spicy food.

4. "We booked an excursion to a water park but no-one told us we had to bring our own swimsuits and towels. We assumed it would be included in the price"

5. "The beach was too sandy. We had to clean everything when we returned to our room.

6. "We found the sand was not like the sand in the brochure. Your brochure shows the sand as white but it was more yellow.

7. "They should not allow topless sunbathing on the beach. It was very distracting for my husband who just wanted to relax.

8. "No-one told us there would be fish in the water. The children were scared.

9. "Although the brochure said that there was a fully equipped kitchen, there was no egg-slicer in the drawers.

10. "We went on holiday to Spain and had a problem with the taxi drivers as they were all Spanish.

11. "The roads were uneven and bumpy, so we could not read the local guide book during the bus ride to the resort. Because of this, we were unaware of many things that would have made our holiday more fun.

12. "It took us nine hours to fly home from Jamaica to England. It took the Americans only three hours to get home. This seems unfair.

13. "I compared the size of our one-bedroom suite to our friends' three-bedroom and ours was significantly smaller.

14. "The brochure stated: 'No hairdressers at the resort'. We're trainee hairdressers and we think they knew and made us wait longer for service.

15. "There were too many Spanish people there. The receptionist spoke Spanish, the food was Spanish. No one told us that there would be so many foreigners.

16. "We had to line up outside to catch the boat and there was no air-conditioning.

17. "It is your duty as a tour operator to advise us of noisy or unruly guests before we travel.

18. "I was bitten by a mosquito. The brochure did not mention mosquitoes."

19. "My fiancé and I requested twin-beds when we booked, but instead we were placed in a room with a king bed. We now hold you responsible and want to be re-reimbursed for the fact that I became pregnant. This would not have happened if you had put us in the room that we booked.

The Assholes at the Police Station

 

A poor guy used to write in a piece of paper everyday “GOD I’m in need for 50 thousand dollars’ and attach it to helium balloon and let it go, and every time he does that it used to drop in a nearby Police Station.

One day, the guys at the Police Station decided to help this poor guy. They managed to gather 25 thousand dollars and went to his door and gave him the money, telling him that this package is from GOD.

The guy took the money into the house, and wrote a new message and attached it to a balloon and as usual it landed at the police station, written in it: “My Lord, thank you for the gift, but the assholes at the police station took half of it!”

Ott Leila Abdellatif

Bashar the Bullshit Man & his Sidekick Vladimir Putin

Bashar the BullShit Man

Science vs Faith

Aouni Madroub!

Strongest man in the World...

من الآخر، اقوى زلمي بالعالم...

ماحدى يتفاجاء إذا بعد شي 1400 سنة صار في 1400000000 نصرللاوي.

الزلمي بكل بساطة راعبن.

وليد جنبلاط ما بيتحرك من بيتو بلا ما يخبرو، نبيه بري إذا بدو يفوت على الحمام بياخد إذنو، سعد الحريري مقاصصو برات البيت، سمير جعجع مجمدو قرص و ميشال عون يا حسرة روح روح تعى تعى.

كلو بعويّ وماحدا مسترجي يعض...

حبيتو ولا كرهتو حاكم بسرمايتو وبلا مثالثة مش رح يمشي الحال وقريباً يمكن حتى هاي تسير قليلة...

تحذير هام، الهفوات احجام...

Who are the real robbers here?

During a robbery in Guangzhou, China, the bank robber shouted to everyone in the bank: "Don't move. The money belongs to the State. Your life belongs to you."

Everyone in the bank laid down quietly. This is called "Mind Changing Concept” Changing the conventional way of thinking.

When a lady lay on the table provocatively, the robber shouted at her: "Please be civilized! This is a robbery and not a rape!"

This is called "Being Professional” Focus only on what you are trained to do!

When the bank robbers returned home, the younger robber (MBA-trained) told the older robber (who has only completed Year 6 in primary school): "Big brother, let's count how much we got."

The older robber rebutted and said: "You are very stupid. There is so much money it will take us a long time to count. Tonight, the TV news will tell us how much we robbed from the bank!"

This is called "Experience.” Nowadays, experience is more important than paper qualifications!

After the robbers had left, the bank manager told the bank supervisor to call the police quickly. But the supervisor said to him: "Wait! Let us take out $10 million from the bank for ourselves and add it to the $70 million that we have previously embezzled from the bank”.

This is called "Swim with the tide.” Converting an unfavorable situation to your advantage!

The supervisor says: "It will be good if there is a robbery every month."

This is called "Killing Boredom.” Personal Happiness is more important than your job.

The next day, the TV news reported that $100 million was taken from the bank. The robbers counted and counted and counted, but they could only count $20 million. The robbers were very angry and complained: "We risked our lives and only took $20 million. The bank manager took $80 million with a snap of his fingers. It looks like it is better to be educated than to be a thief!"

This is called "Knowledge is worth as much as gold!"

The bank manager was smiling and happy because his losses in the share market are now covered by this robbery.

This is called "Seizing the opportunity.” Daring to take risks!

So who are the real robbers here?

MAN RULES

THESE ARE OUR RULES!

PLEASE NOTE. THESE ARE ALL NUMBERED #1 ON PURPOSE!

1. MEN ARE NOT MIND READERS.

1. LEARN TO WORK THE TOILET SEAT. YOU'RE A BIG GIRL. IF IT'S UP, PUT IT DOWN. WE NEED IT UP, YOU NEED IT DOWN. YOU DON'T HEAR US COMPLAINING ABOUT YOU LEAVING IT DOWN.

1. CRYING IS BLACKMAIL.

1. ASK FOR WHAT YOU WANT. LET US BE CLEAR ON THIS ONE:

SUBTLE HINTS DO NOT WORK!
STRONG HINTS DO NOT WORK!
OBVIOUS HINTS DO NOT WORK!
JUST SAY IT!

1. YES AND NO ARE PERFECTLY ACCEPTABLE ANSWERS TO ALMOST EVERY QUESTION.

1. COME TO US WITH A PROBLEM ONLY IF YOU WANT HELP SOLVING IT. THAT'S WHAT WE DO. SYMPATHY IS WHAT YOUR GIRLFRIENDS ARE FOR.

1. ANYTHING WE SAID 6 MONTHS AGO IS INADMISSIBLE IN AN ARGUMENT. IN FACT, ALL COMMENTS BECOME NULL AND VOID AFTER 7 DAYS.

1. IF YOU THINK YOU'RE FAT, YOU PROBABLY ARE. DON'T ASK US.

1. IF SOMETHING WE SAID CAN BE INTERPRETED TWO WAYS AND ONE OF THE WAYS MAKES YOU SAD OR ANGRY, WE MEANT THE OTHER ONE.

1. YOU CAN EITHER ASK US TO DO SOMETHING OR TELL US HOW YOU WANT IT DONE. NOT BOTH. IF YOU ALREADY KNOW BEST HOW TO DO IT, JUST DO IT YOURSELF.

1. WHENEVER POSSIBLE, PLEASE SAY WHATEVER YOU HAVE TO SAY DURING COMMERCIALS.

1. CHRISTOPHER COLUMBUS DID NOT NEED DIRECTIONS AND NEITHER DO WE...

1. ALL MEN SEE IN ONLY 16 COLORS, LIKE WINDOWS DEFAULT SETTINGS...
PEACH, FOR EXAMPLE, IS A FRUIT, NOT A COLOR. PUMPKIN IS ALSO A FRUIT. WE HAVE NO IDEA WHAT MAUVE IS.

1. IF WE ASK WHAT IS WRONG AND YOU SAY 'NOTHING', WE WILL ACT LIKE NOTHING'S WRONG. WE KNOW YOU ARE LYING, BUT IT IS JUST NOT WORTH THE HASSLE.

1. IF YOU ASK A QUESTION YOU DON'T WANT AN ANSWER TO, EXPECT AN ANSWER YOU DON'T WANT TO HEAR...

1. WHEN WE HAVE TO GO SOMEWHERE, ABSOLUTELY ANYTHING YOU WEAR IS FINE...REALLY.

1. DON'T ASK US WHAT WE'RE THINKING ABOUT UNLESS YOU ARE PREPARED TO DISCUSS SUCH TOPICS AS FOOTBALL OR MOTOR SPORTS.

1. YOU HAVE ENOUGH CLOTHES.

1. YOU HAVE TOO MANY SHOES.

1. I AM IN SHAPE. ROUND IS A SHAPE!

1. THANK YOU FOR READING THIS. YES, I KNOW, I HAVE TO SLEEP ON THE COUCH TONIGHT.. BUT DID YOU KNOW MEN REALLY DON'T MIND THAT? IT'S LIKE CAMPING...