SPINNEYS DOCTOR

One day, in line at the company cafeteria, Abul Abed says to Abu Stef behind him, "My elbow hurts like hell. I guess I'd better see a doctor." "Listen, you don’t have to spend that kind of money,” Abu Stef replies. "There's a diagnostic computer down at Spinneys. Just give it a urine sample and the computer will tell you what’s wrong and what to do about it. It takes ten seconds and costs ten dollars . . . A lot cheaper than a doctor."

So, Abul Abed deposits a urine sample in a small jar and takes it to Spinneys. He deposits ten dollars and the computer lights up and asks for the urine sample. He pours the sample into the slot and waits. Ten seconds later, the computer ejects a printout: "You have tennis elbow. Soak your arm in warm water and avoid heavy activity it will improve in two weeks. Thank you for shopping @ Spinneys."

That evening, while thinking how amazing this new technology was, Abul Abed began wondering if the computer could be fooled. He mixed some tap water, a stool sample from his dog, urine samples from Imel Abed and daughter, and a sperm sample for good measure. Abul Abed hurries back to Spinneys, eager to check the results. He deposits ten dollars, pours in his concoction, and awaits the results.

The computer prints the following:

1. Your tap water is too hard. Get a water softener. (Aisle 9)

2. Your dog has ringworm. Bathe him with anti-fungal shampoo. (Aisle 7)

3. Your daughter has a cocaine habit. Get her into rehab.

4. Imel Abed is pregnant with twins. They aren't yours. Get a lawyer.

5. If you don't stop playing with yourself, your elbow will never get better!

Thank you for shopping @ Spinneys.