Friday, October 28, 2011

First things first!

Two hunters are out in the woods when one of them collapses. He doesn't seem to be breathing and his eyes are glazed. The other guy whips out his phone and calls the emergency services. He gasps, "My friend is dead! What can I do?". The operator says "Calm down. I can help. First, let's make sure he's dead." There is a silence, then a gun shot is heard. Back on the phone, the guy says "OK, now what?"

Friday, October 07, 2011

Lebanon Seven Wonders

Seven Wonders in Lebanon makes Jeita caves insignificant and makes you wonder.

1- A Parliament representatives, that should be representing the public and should have been elected by the same public and the public has no clue who they are or how they even look like.


2- A public security service that is not allowed to defend or secure the public, the same public that voted and paying the salary of the same “MP”s who nobody knows.


3- A very smart Minister, never even elected once by his public, jumping and proving himself between ministries, but very well known; who can make wonders happen through his wife’s ad agency without spending a penny.


4- An MP who can shift from one pole to the other during 24 hrs more than once, and end up gaining the same stupid public, the same public who elected him for his “Beliefs and Goals”!!


5- A Resistance that helps the enemy and kills the public, yes the same public.


6- A Murderer, who kills a “PM”, couple of “MP”s, an “M” and a couple of hundreds of “P”s, and yet has the choice whether to be on trial or not.


7- A University President who doesn’t know any foreign language, not French, not English not even Persian. I guess he can be easily a “Municipality President” or even a Minister as long as he masters the “YES” word.Well that’s what we call in Lebanon “Reform & Change”!!

Monday, October 03, 2011

How to get a free dig in Lebanon



An old Lebanese Forces gentleman lived alone in Mastita (Byblos). He wanted to plan this annual tomato garden, but it was very difficult work, as the ground was hard. His only son, Jean Claude, who used to help him, was in Dubai. The old man wrote a letter to his son and described his predicament:

Dear Jean Claude, I am feeling pretty sad because it looks like I won't be able to plant my tomato garden this year. I'm just getting too old to be digging up a garden plot. I know if you were here my troubles would be over. I know you would be happy to dig the plot for me, like in the old days. Love, Dad

A few days later he received a phone call from his son.
Jean Claude: “Dear dad, don't dig up that garden. That's where the bodies are buried”. And the call got disconnected.

At 4 a.m. The next morning, the Lebanese Army, and acting upon a request from Gen. Michel Aoun, arrived and dug up the entire area without finding any bodies. They apologized to the old man and left.

That same day the old man received another call from his son.
Jean Claude: “Dear dad, go ahead and plant the tomatoes now. That's the best I could do under the circumstances”.