5 MILLION $ PICTURE

لبنانيا مسيحيا هدم منزله بسبب القصف الاسرائيلي ولم يجد من اغراض بيته الا صورة «المسيح مصلوبا» وقد تحطم اطارها، فأخذها وذهب إلى «سعد الحريري» قائلا.. «يا استاذ، ما فضل من بيتي الا صورة سيدنا.. هيدا»، فأعطاه «الحريري» مائة الف دولار ليرمم بيته! سمع جاره اللبناني الشيعي - بالحكاية، فأخذ صورة السيد «حسن نصرالله» وذهب بها إلى «الحريري» قائلا.. «يا استاذ.. ما فضل من بيتي إلا صورة.. سيدنا»، فأعطاه الحريري.. عشرة آلاف دولار فقط، فاستغرب الرجل وقال.. «بس انت عطيت جاري المسيحي مائة الف دولار»، فرد عليه «سعد» قائلا.. «ايوه، كلامك مزبوط، بس هو جابلي صورة السيد.. تبعه وهو.. مصلوب»!! روح جيب صورة سيدك مصلوب وأنا أعطيك خمسة ملايين دولار !!!!!....

HARIT KILL MEEN IDO ILO

JEW BLOOD

An Arab needed a heart transplant, but prior to the surgery the doctors needed to store his blood type in case the need arises. Because the gentleman had a rare type of blood, it couldn't be found locally. So the call went out to a number of countries. Finally, a Jew was located who had similar type of the blood who willingly donated his blood to the Arab. After the surgery, the Arab sent the Jew a thank you card for giving his blood along with an expensive piece of diamond and a new Rolls Royce car as a token of his appreciation. Unfortunately, the Arab had to go through a corrective surgery once again. His doctors telephoned the Jew who was more than happy to donate his blood again. After the second surgery, the Arab sent the Jew a thank you card and a jar of Almond Roca sweets. The Jew was shocked to see that the Arab this time did not reciprocate much the Jew's kind gesture as he has done previously. So he phoned the Arab and asked him why he had expressed his appreciation in not so generous manner. The Arab replied "Ya habibi, I have Jewish blood now, remember..!?"

10 Reasons why Lebanese cannot hijack a plane

1. We are always late; we would have missed all the flights.
2. The pretty girls on the plane would distract us.
3. We would talk loudly and bring attention to ourselves.
4. With food and drinks on the plane, we would forget why we're there.
5. We talk with our hands; therefore we would have to put our weapons down.
6. We would ALL want to fly the plane.
7. We would argue and start a fight in the plane.
8. We can't keep a secret; we would have told everyone a week before doing it.
9. We would all have fallen over each other to be in the photograph being taken by one of the hostages.
10. We would have put our country's flag on the windshield.