Dear John,

Dear Mr. his Excellency General Michel Aoun, i heard you are searching for a place for your next supporters gathering, and you want the size of the place to be enough for your crowd. Well Mr. his Excellency General Michel Aoun, my bathroom is under your command, be free to use it at any time, you will be more than welcome specially that we added a new latrine lately. Your alliances will love the place.

WE WILL ARRIVE

TO GENERAL AOUN

1. We supported you when you launched your military campaigns2. We defended you when you were in exile3. We hailed you during our Cedar Revolution4. We cheered you the day of your return5. We voted for you in the parliamentary elections
We find out now that:
1. You learned nothing from your mistakes2. You allied yourself with the worst rogue politicians3. You played politics as lousily as you lead your troops on the battlefield4. You belittled our Cedar Revolution's dreams and aspirations5. You diverted our support to serve your personal ambitions
Your actions, willingly or unwillingly:
1. Left the insolent Emile Lahoud in Baabda2. Emboldened Hizbollah in his catastrophic agenda3. Insulted the memory of Rafik, Samir, Gibran and all the independence martyrs4. Reinforced Syria's bullying on Lebanon
Because our deception is as high as the hopes we had placed in you,Because, as for all politicians, you must be held accountable to the people and to your electorate,Because we still have a small hope that you will see this as a warning and will change course,
We wish to cry out loud to our fellow citizens and to the world:
PLEASE FORGIVE ME, I VOTED FOR AOUN

WISE ROBOT

A man walks into a pub and orders a drink. The bar has a robot bartender. The robot serves him a perfectly prepared cocktail, and then asks him:
"What's your IQ?" The man replies "150" and the robot proceeds to make conversation about global warming factors, quantum physics and spirituality, biomimicry, environmental interconnectedness, string theory, nano-technology, and the Kama Sutra.
The customer is very impressed and thinks, "This is really cool".
He decides to test the robot.
He walks out of the bar, turns around, and comes back in for another drink.
Again, the robot serves him the perfectly prepared drink and asks him:
"What's your IQ?" The man responds, "About a 100". Immediately the robot starts talking about Basket ball, supermodels, shooting, beer and women's breasts.
Really impressed, the man leaves the bar and decides to give the robot one more test. He heads out and returns.
The robot asks: "What's your IQ?" The man replies, "Er, 50, I think".
The robot serves him orange juice and says... REAL slowly:
"So............... You're gonna vote for Michel Aoun again?"

ABSOLUT DESTRUCTION

New Aoun ID

يوم أطلّ عون مزهوّاً

المستقبل - الثلاثاء 5 أيلول 2006 - العدد 2377 -

يطل النائب ميشال عون على اللبنانيين مطالباً بالتحقيق مع وزير الداخلية بالوكالة أحمد فتفت بالاستناد الى مسؤوليته عن ثكنة مرجعيون التي أخلتها القوة الأمنية المشتركة بعد احتلالها من جيش العدو الإسرائيلي.إلا أن اللافت للاهتمام ظهور العماد ميشال عون الثائر غضباً على الوزير فتفت والقوة الأمنية في مرجعيون، عام 1982، وبعد حوالي أربعة أشهر من المآسي والمجازر التي ألحقها الحصار الإسرائيلي في بيروت، مزهواً بالمصافحة الحميمة بين ممثل عن قيادة الجيش وبين قائد وحدات الاحتلال الإسرائيلي التي أشرفت على حصار بيروت كجزء من اجتياح لبنان وقتل أبنائه قصفاً وغارات وقنصاً وتجويعاً.وقد ظهر في الصورة التي خلّدها كتاب "حمائم الحرب" للزميل ستافرو جبرا، اللواء عصام أبو جمرا الذي رشحه العماد عون، أخيراً لتسلم حقيبة وزارة العدل.وفي هجومه على الوزير فتفت قال عون بصوت عالٍ على شاشة "اي.ان.بي" إن التحقيق في قضية ثكنة مرجعيون لا يموت بانقضاء عشر سنوات وهو يقع في خانة الجنايات.وفي حيثيات الصورة التي تنشرها "المستقبل" يرتسم سؤال عما إذا كان حبور العماد عون يمحو معانيه الوطنية مرور الزمن على الحدث.. وعلى الذاكرة الوطنية.

DIVORCE CASE

A man and his wife were in the court getting a divorce. The problem was who should get custody of the child. The wife jumping up and down said: Your Honor'. I brought the child into the world with pain and labor. She should be in my custody.The judge turns to the husband and says ' What do you have to say in your defense? The man sat for a while contemplating... then slowly rose. 'You’re Honor'. If I put a dollar in a vending machine and a Pepsi comes out... whose Pepsi is it ... the machines or mine??????

NO POLITICS

Abu El Abed went once to a hairdresser for a haircut. Abu El Abed tried to start a conversation with the people while waiting.
Abu El Abed: "Did you hear what Joumblatt said today?"
Barber: "Allah Ykhallik, ma badna seeyasee bi hal mahal".
After a few minutes
Abu El Abed: "Do you know how the dollar is doing today?"
Barber: "Allah Ykhallik, ma badna haki al dollar wel lira bi hal mahal"
few minutes later
Abu El Abed: "Tayyeb feena nehke Sex?"
Barber: Sure Abu El Abed: "eh ayre feek wou bi hal mahal."

GENIE IN A BOTTLE

A couple decides to go golfing at the best golf course in their state. While playing, the husband tells his wife to be very careful, as there were many houses along the golf course. But the wife swings her club and the ball smashes through one of the glasses of the biggest house on the course. So the husband and wife decided to go and apologize to the owner of the house. When they reached the house they found a glass bottle lying on the floor broken into hundreds of pieces. They found an old man sitting in his rocking chair and greeted the couple inside. He said, "I am a genie and I would like to thank you for breaking me free from this bottle. I would like to grant you 2 wishes, but the 3rd wish is mine." So the husband says "I want a private aircraft for myself." The wife said she would like a house in every single country. The genie says for the past 200 years he has never had sex and would like to make love to the lady. So they both agree and the genie takes the lady up and begins having sex. Then he asks the lady "How old is your husband?" She replies "47." "And he still believes in genies?"