Asad's Rocket

President Bashar el Asad of Syria at his weekly cabinet meeting, informed his ministers that President Ahmadi Najad of Iran built a Space Shuttle and would travel to Mars in the coming months. President Asad then declared that he wanted to build a Rocket and would travel to the Sun. In fear, Asad's ministers replied, "But President, how can we travel to the Sun when it is so hot? We will melt from the heat". "You fools!" shouted Asad. "Of course we will melt. Don't you think I know that? We will build the rocket and travel to the Sun at night!"

A GENERAL'S ILLUSION!!

90% Ha!! Let us see…
There are 4,000,000 Lebanese in Lebanon, 35% (1,400,000) of which are under 18, whom even if they changed the law are not allowed to vote, leaving us with 2,600,000 Lebanese, 2% (50,000) of which are in Jails, Hospitals, or can’t leave their homes. Leaving us with 2,550,000 Lebanese, 15% (400,000) of which are in the Army and Police who can’t vote either, leaving us with 2,150,000. 1,000,000 of which were in 14 of January Demonstration, Leaving us with 1,150,000 Lebanese, 5% (60,000) of which couldn’t come that day, Leaving Mr. President with 1,090,000 Lebanese, 890,000 of which are under Nasralla’s Spell, and 300,000 = 90% “on Mars maybe” who just love the orange color.

Lie Detector

A Homsi, a Russian, and an Italian go to the machine that beeps every time you tell a lie.

First out is the Russian: "I think I'm beautiful!" BEEP!
Then goes the Italian: "I think I'm smart!" BEEP!
Finally it's time for the Homsi: "I think..." BEEEEEEEEEEEP!

NICE HAIRDRESSER

There is this good old barber in some city in the US. One day a florist goes to him for a haircut. After the cut, he goes to pay the barber and the barber replies: "I am sorry. I cannot accept money from you. I am doing community service.” The florist happy and leaves the shop. The next morning when the barber goes to open his shop, there is a thank you card and a dozen roses waiting at his door. A policeman goes for a haircut and he also goes to pay the barber after the cut. But the barber replies: "I am sorry. I cannot accept money from you. I am doing community service.” The cop is happy and leaves the shop. The next morning the barber goes to open his shop; there is a thank you card and a dozen donuts waiting at his door. A Lebanese software engineer goes for a haircut and he also goes to pay the barber after the cut. But the barber replies: "I am sorry. I cannot accept money from you. I am doing community service.” The Lebanese software engineer is happy and leaves. The next morning when the barber goes to open his shop, guess what he finds there? Can you guess? Do you know the answer yet? Come on, think like a Lebanese…..!!!!!!!
A dozen Lebanese waiting for a free haircut!!!!

KHALES LA ALLAH